Let’s start this one with a song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKuEENG2RCw
I know, right? Today, you’ll get to learn a little bit more about me.
Once upon a time, I was born at a very young age. I got a little older and decided that art was some fun stuff. I would write, dress up my American Girl dolls (I had one that looked like me that I named Rachel and Josephina), spent HOURS arranging and rearranging my American Girl Minis rooms… I guess that I’ve always been kind of an artistic soul. So life went on. In school, art classes were always my favorite. I spent my Senior year in high school taking 2-3 (or was it more) art classes per semester. When I got to college, I wanted to study art.
But things changed a bit in my first semester in college.
Amidst my 15 credit hours of general education classes, I somehow shifted my love from art to theater. Theater design, specifically. I think it was Earnest’s fault. You see, the fall play was The Importance of Being Earnest. I was attending not just for fun but because I was going to write a critique for my composition class. During the three acts, I paid close attention. I remember that Lady Bracknel, who is supposed to have a very large, loud presence, was dressed in a color far too similar to the set. She blended right in. I also remember this sort of awkward aqua blue during the outdoor second act that didn’t work quite right. (As of this time, I have asked the set designer who said that it was more of a mood choice rather than a sky choice. Which sort of makes sense but I wish that the aqua hadn’t been chosen. It just confused me.) And I remember the Kissing Chair. But I only remember that because I’m a massive dork. (If you don’t know what a kissing chair is, click the link -> http://www.butterfieldsforge.co.uk/images/p008_0_00_1.jpg)
After voicing my opinions, a friend decided to plant the idea in my head that maybe I should do something with theater. And then it encompassed me.
So now I’m taking 3 theater classes and would like to declare a theater major. I just have to convince certain people that it wouldn’t be a dumb choice, first.
Anyway. I’m super thrilled to be having to buy plays and theater textbooks and the PEOPLE! OH! Theater majors are some of the fun-est, quirkiest, funniest, most entertaining people you can meet. And here they’re so nice! I helped out with costumes my first night. I handed out mens’ gloves and wrote their “owner’s” initials on pieces of tape and labeled them. The next day, quite a few guys recognized me around campus and waved and said hi.
I just love it.
So that’s a little bit more info so that you can get to know me. Hopefully, if someone out there actually reads this, I will get to know you as well.
-Emi
Showing posts with label college. Show all posts
Showing posts with label college. Show all posts
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Nightmares, Psychology, and Jami
A running joke, for lack of better classification, at my college is that you come to minor in Bible and major in marriage. And while not everyone who goes here gets their “ring before spring” and is at least engaged by graduation, many meet their mate. As I am now past my first semester and have fulfilled my goal of not dating during that time, a silly sort of franticness has set over me. Will I find “the one?” Will it be before senior year? Will it be before I’m 25? Does “the one” even exist? This last one haunts me the most. The fact that there may not be a soul on earth right now meant for me to share my life with…
Today in GenPsych we talked about what kind of people attract and get married. Similar “levels” of attractiveness, opposite personalities, etc. It sort of messed with my mind – should I be looking for someone who is as attractive/unattractive as me? And if so, do I go with my view of my attractiveness or what other people’s opinions are? Are they giving me their true opinions? Does the male population view me different than the female population that seems to assure me that I am pretty? And then what could I look for personality-wise? What is MY personality? How could someone’s differ from mine? Should I look for someone quiet since I seem to have grown rather outspoken in college or do I look for someone who can command a room because I’m still not very outgoing?
But this isn’t about my nightmares or psychology.
This is about Jami.
I know, right? I spend two lengthy paragraphs talking about boys and suddenly I’m talking about a girl. But you see, she’s not just any girl. She’s my best friend in the whole entire universe. And there’s something else: If one of us was male, we would totally get married. That may come off as creepy but I promise you that it’s not as weird as it sounds. We’ve talked about this. We just… I don’t even know what it is about her that makes us best friends or makes me love her so much (As a friend. We will never get married). But class today also made me remember this deep, great love for Jami and if I should look for someone like her to marry. Does that mean I’m throwing out the psychology? Does it alleviate some of my fear?
Thing is, I’m not sure.
So, for now, I have been advised by the beautiful Chiano to take my own advice and for now “Just Be.” And, given that I don’t have any other ideas, I’m gunna see how it works out for me. I guess I’ll post an update to this later.
-Emi
P.S. A blog post without a perfect end?! GASP!
Today in GenPsych we talked about what kind of people attract and get married. Similar “levels” of attractiveness, opposite personalities, etc. It sort of messed with my mind – should I be looking for someone who is as attractive/unattractive as me? And if so, do I go with my view of my attractiveness or what other people’s opinions are? Are they giving me their true opinions? Does the male population view me different than the female population that seems to assure me that I am pretty? And then what could I look for personality-wise? What is MY personality? How could someone’s differ from mine? Should I look for someone quiet since I seem to have grown rather outspoken in college or do I look for someone who can command a room because I’m still not very outgoing?
But this isn’t about my nightmares or psychology.
This is about Jami.
I know, right? I spend two lengthy paragraphs talking about boys and suddenly I’m talking about a girl. But you see, she’s not just any girl. She’s my best friend in the whole entire universe. And there’s something else: If one of us was male, we would totally get married. That may come off as creepy but I promise you that it’s not as weird as it sounds. We’ve talked about this. We just… I don’t even know what it is about her that makes us best friends or makes me love her so much (As a friend. We will never get married). But class today also made me remember this deep, great love for Jami and if I should look for someone like her to marry. Does that mean I’m throwing out the psychology? Does it alleviate some of my fear?
Thing is, I’m not sure.
So, for now, I have been advised by the beautiful Chiano to take my own advice and for now “Just Be.” And, given that I don’t have any other ideas, I’m gunna see how it works out for me. I guess I’ll post an update to this later.
-Emi
P.S. A blog post without a perfect end?! GASP!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Just Be
So here’s my insight for today: Sometimes, you need to just BE.
Let me elaborate.
Life just sucks, sometimes. We set up all these things, we make all these plans and sometimes they just blow up in your face or turn around and reveal that they’re a black hole that sucks away all your money. I have a friend who had a black hole day today. She had managed to pass the test to test out of this class. So she went to the registrar’s office to get it all officialized and they told her that it would cost $450 (I think) per credit hour in order for it to be officialized. It’s a 3 credit class. That’s $1,350. College students just don’t have that kind of extra money. And something like that just smokes the rest of your day affecting every breath, every second, every fiber of your being. It’s not a fun time.
Anyway.
Tonight I got back to the dorm and she, smiling, told me she wanted to talk with me but to do this one assignment I had due at midnight first. So I did and went in to talk to her. This beautiful girl, bless her soul, is very good at masking her feelings (well… I think so, at least). She wanted to talk to me about it and stuff. So I sat there and talked with her. We didn’t have a dramatic cry-awkwardly-on-your-shoulder-while-I-awkwardly-pat-your-back time. We just talked. I sat there and talked to her like I always do and I made silly jokes about random things and misheard her and laughed at pretzels. I was myself; I wasn’t trying to be anything else. I didn’t have to try to do anything for her other than just… Be.
So, sometimes, in life… You just need to be there for someone. You shouldn’t shy away from it because it might be this whole awkward hoo-ha (my Intro to Theater Tech prof says “hoo-ha” a lot). You just need to accept that you are who you are and sometimes you are called to be in that awkward situation, but sometimes (or most of the times) you just need to BE there.
I hope I helped poke a little of my Emi-light into her life. And if I or you can do that for someone by just being… That’s a pretty fantastic impact for doing something as simple as being yourself.
“Don’t think, or judge. Just listen.”
Just Be.
-Emi
Let me elaborate.
Life just sucks, sometimes. We set up all these things, we make all these plans and sometimes they just blow up in your face or turn around and reveal that they’re a black hole that sucks away all your money. I have a friend who had a black hole day today. She had managed to pass the test to test out of this class. So she went to the registrar’s office to get it all officialized and they told her that it would cost $450 (I think) per credit hour in order for it to be officialized. It’s a 3 credit class. That’s $1,350. College students just don’t have that kind of extra money. And something like that just smokes the rest of your day affecting every breath, every second, every fiber of your being. It’s not a fun time.
Anyway.
Tonight I got back to the dorm and she, smiling, told me she wanted to talk with me but to do this one assignment I had due at midnight first. So I did and went in to talk to her. This beautiful girl, bless her soul, is very good at masking her feelings (well… I think so, at least). She wanted to talk to me about it and stuff. So I sat there and talked with her. We didn’t have a dramatic cry-awkwardly-on-your-shoulder-while-I-awkwardly-pat-your-back time. We just talked. I sat there and talked to her like I always do and I made silly jokes about random things and misheard her and laughed at pretzels. I was myself; I wasn’t trying to be anything else. I didn’t have to try to do anything for her other than just… Be.
So, sometimes, in life… You just need to be there for someone. You shouldn’t shy away from it because it might be this whole awkward hoo-ha (my Intro to Theater Tech prof says “hoo-ha” a lot). You just need to accept that you are who you are and sometimes you are called to be in that awkward situation, but sometimes (or most of the times) you just need to BE there.
I hope I helped poke a little of my Emi-light into her life. And if I or you can do that for someone by just being… That’s a pretty fantastic impact for doing something as simple as being yourself.
“Don’t think, or judge. Just listen.”
Just Be.
-Emi
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Twilight in College
I’m a Twi-Hard. Make fun of me all you want, take all the shots, I don’t care. I love the books though I also love to make fun of them. But I try and keep up with the Twilight happenings. I only just recently got the chance to see Eclipse and I enjoyed it. Emmett’s response to Bella breaking her hand because she punched a werewolf… Definitely one of my favorite parts. But back on college campus, as I’m wandering around freaking out about do I double-major, do I major in TPC to make not only money but people happy, do I transfer to CCU to be closer to home and major in something they offer there… I thought back to the graduation speech in the movie given by Jessica. With my recent resolve to go on with my current semester and only worry about majors when class registration comes around again, I started to realize things. Things that Jessica says so well. I won’t post her speech here verbatim. I’ve edited out a couple words and added a few that I think help convey the tone she used when she delivered it.
“When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our answers were things like, astronauts, president... Or in my case, a princess. When we were ten, they asked again. We answered, a rock star, cowboy, or in my case, a gold medalist. But now that we're grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how about this. Who the heck knows? This isn't the time to make hard and fast decisions; this is a time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere. Fall in love... A lot. Major in philosophy, because there's no possible way to make a career out of that. Change your mind, and change it again, because nothing's permanent. So, make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask what we want to be, we won't have to guess... we'll know.”
I’m starting to realize just how much comfort there is in those words. I’m only 18. I’ll be stuck with this major for the next fifty-some-odd years of my life. Why shouldn’t I be able to study one thing and then decide on another? Why can’t I take a couple years to choose random classes? Why can’t I? But… That question almost answers itself. Why can’t I? Well… Why can’t I not. Does that make sense? I’m feeling so restricted with the stress of double-majoring (which is made worse because theater becomes all-consuming of your life. If you have ever been in a play, you know what I mean.), the stress needing to make money, the stress of wanting to please people but also please myself and ultimately needing to please God… It’s a lot. But Jessica is so right in making mistakes, changing your mind… I’d rather spend two years soul-searching and then just know what I want to be than two years changing my major trying to please too many people.
So. While right now I’m reverting to my childhood dream of wanting to be an interior decorater (in the only way I can at this college), make-up artist, fashion designer, and (mostly) making people happy… I’d ask that I be free to make those choices, be they mistakes or a path towards a major that anyone thinks will dump me into a life as a waitress. It’s my life. My future is on my shoulders, not my grandmother’s or my father’s. I can only hope and pray that should God see fit to bless me with such a lovely major as Theater Design that he should also see fit to provide me with work there and to give patience and understanding to those who see it as a waste of a life.
For right now, though, I feel like the next right step is to do what I have decided; to not worry about a major until class registration rolls around again. I don’t want to say to myself “After a few decades, everyone you know will be dead. Problem Solved.” Maybe I’ll get to have Bella’s annoying monologue at the end of the movie (which I hate but paste here “This wasn't a choice between you and Jacob. It was between who I should be and who I am. I've always felt out of step. Like literally stumbling through my life. I've never felt normal, because I'm not normal, and I don't wanna be. I've had to face death and loss and pain in your world, but I've also never felt stronger, like more real, more myself, because it's my world too. It's where I belong.”) and decide who I should be according to God and how that falls into step with what other people want me to be.
Well, thanks for reading my ramblings. I hope that my love of Twilight can help you. Which is SO weird. But.
Thanks again,
-Emi
P.S. The Fork’s high school colors in the movie are the same colors as my college; blue and yellow.
“When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our answers were things like, astronauts, president... Or in my case, a princess. When we were ten, they asked again. We answered, a rock star, cowboy, or in my case, a gold medalist. But now that we're grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how about this. Who the heck knows? This isn't the time to make hard and fast decisions; this is a time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere. Fall in love... A lot. Major in philosophy, because there's no possible way to make a career out of that. Change your mind, and change it again, because nothing's permanent. So, make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask what we want to be, we won't have to guess... we'll know.”
I’m starting to realize just how much comfort there is in those words. I’m only 18. I’ll be stuck with this major for the next fifty-some-odd years of my life. Why shouldn’t I be able to study one thing and then decide on another? Why can’t I take a couple years to choose random classes? Why can’t I? But… That question almost answers itself. Why can’t I? Well… Why can’t I not. Does that make sense? I’m feeling so restricted with the stress of double-majoring (which is made worse because theater becomes all-consuming of your life. If you have ever been in a play, you know what I mean.), the stress needing to make money, the stress of wanting to please people but also please myself and ultimately needing to please God… It’s a lot. But Jessica is so right in making mistakes, changing your mind… I’d rather spend two years soul-searching and then just know what I want to be than two years changing my major trying to please too many people.
So. While right now I’m reverting to my childhood dream of wanting to be an interior decorater (in the only way I can at this college), make-up artist, fashion designer, and (mostly) making people happy… I’d ask that I be free to make those choices, be they mistakes or a path towards a major that anyone thinks will dump me into a life as a waitress. It’s my life. My future is on my shoulders, not my grandmother’s or my father’s. I can only hope and pray that should God see fit to bless me with such a lovely major as Theater Design that he should also see fit to provide me with work there and to give patience and understanding to those who see it as a waste of a life.
For right now, though, I feel like the next right step is to do what I have decided; to not worry about a major until class registration rolls around again. I don’t want to say to myself “After a few decades, everyone you know will be dead. Problem Solved.” Maybe I’ll get to have Bella’s annoying monologue at the end of the movie (which I hate but paste here “This wasn't a choice between you and Jacob. It was between who I should be and who I am. I've always felt out of step. Like literally stumbling through my life. I've never felt normal, because I'm not normal, and I don't wanna be. I've had to face death and loss and pain in your world, but I've also never felt stronger, like more real, more myself, because it's my world too. It's where I belong.”) and decide who I should be according to God and how that falls into step with what other people want me to be.
Well, thanks for reading my ramblings. I hope that my love of Twilight can help you. Which is SO weird. But.
Thanks again,
-Emi
P.S. The Fork’s high school colors in the movie are the same colors as my college; blue and yellow.
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