Time for another deep blog post! But probably a shorter one.
Anyway.
There are a couple of stresses in my life that I take upon myself to claim mine and not turn over to God. I’m a big stress-er but there are some things that it takes extra-long to turn over to God.
First – My major. You know the story by now of my grandma and stuff so I won’t torture you with it a second time. But for so long I felt that it was going to be me that would change my grandmother’s mind and me that made the decision and me that worked it all out. Then I realized how stupid I was. God will ultimately decide what I will do and who I will be and He, FAR before anyone else, will change my grandma’s mind and heart.
Second – BOYS. I, like any girl, spend my childhood dwelling on marrying a prince (probably Aladdin or Kyle, the cuter of the twins in my k5-4th grade classes) and planning my silly married life in a castle. As I’m older now, I instead dream of marrying Flynn Rider or Sokka (or Aladdin) and planning out the details of my wedding down to the ring, dress, flowers, location, and even footwear (I want to be barefoot or wear soft white slippers). But the man, despite my inclinations, will probably not be animated (or a Disney Prince). And I have a really hard time handing that over. I acknowledge that God is in control but it’s like I’m an annoying person following Him around to make sure He does His job right. “Oh, no. Not that one.” “Maybe you should try over here… Like maybe this one?” It’s stupidity.
Yet I can’t seem to manage to relinquish control of this.
I never really understood the concept of wrestling with yourself over something that needs to be given to God or refocused or whatever in my life until I really contemplated this today. So my current hope in life is to fully stop stressing over it and knowing that God will chose the perfect man who will be perfect for me and I will love. It’s going to be quite the process. And I will probably end up having to constantly remind myself.
Anyway.
Boys.
-Emi
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Opinions
Alright, time for a DEEP blog post.
As, of course, all of you know, I want to major in theater. And, as you all know, my grandma is helping pay for school. Now, this is cause for drama (haha! Punny) in my life due to the fact that my grandmother is first, not saved, and second, wants me to major in something worthwhile (like Technical and Professional Communications or Chemistry). And she won’t let me bring Dumbledore (my car) to school. But that’s another story?
When I went home for Christmas break, there was some drama. She wanted to have a chat with me and discuss college and majors and stuff… And I wasn’t looking forward to it. And I think I am justified in that. We had a nice, semi-stressful chat over brunch (I got a cheese omelet and pancakes) and then went back to her house to talk about more college stuff. That’s when it got more stressful.
I want to major in theater (for various reasons that make up a whole different blog post that I should write sometime… Or did I already write it…). She kinda told me that I would end up not being able to get work with that and have to be a waitress instead. Which she then told me I wouldn’t be good at.
Hearing these things really hurt me and they hurt me deep. I was really torn up weather I should have been or not.
For a little while I considered taking a fifth year and double majoring in Theater and TPC which quickly became clear that it would be virtually impossible because theater EATS your time. There is always a set to be painted or costumes to be pulled or shirts to be ironed or sweeping… The work is never done.
But that was still stressing me out. So I decided to finish out the semester and just not worry about it. I would take Intro to Design and Intro to Tech and Stagecraft 1 like planned and not think about majors or next year’s classes until the time came to register for them. And I feel at peace with this choice.
But let’s backtrack a bit.
A couple of fantastically ironical things have happened to me. Prince Eric (the nickname is for another blog post), a theater major in my brother unit, is in the winter musical, Hello Dolly. He’s in the chorus and in quite a few scenes. In one of the scenes, he plays a waiter. The irony of him being a theater major yet also “being” a waiter made me laugh so hard! Also, I was sitting in Chapel waiting for it to start the other morning and I was told that I would make a good waitress because I’m fun and chatty…
And then tonight I realized something. I realized that my grandma doesn’t exactly know me (much less the Lord). Who is she to tell me that I can never become something? Who is any human to tell me what I am and am not capable of? My grandmother does not determine my future or my passions or my calling. So why am I letting it so seriously affect me? God will be faithful and provide for me if he calls me to theater. He alone will determine what I will and will not be. So while my grandmother may speak the truth in that very few people can make it in the theater biz, God has the last word on my role (haha! Punny) in it or if I will have a role in it at all.
Bottom line: God’s opinion alone should be the one that I let affect me.
<3 Emi
As, of course, all of you know, I want to major in theater. And, as you all know, my grandma is helping pay for school. Now, this is cause for drama (haha! Punny) in my life due to the fact that my grandmother is first, not saved, and second, wants me to major in something worthwhile (like Technical and Professional Communications or Chemistry). And she won’t let me bring Dumbledore (my car) to school. But that’s another story?
When I went home for Christmas break, there was some drama. She wanted to have a chat with me and discuss college and majors and stuff… And I wasn’t looking forward to it. And I think I am justified in that. We had a nice, semi-stressful chat over brunch (I got a cheese omelet and pancakes) and then went back to her house to talk about more college stuff. That’s when it got more stressful.
I want to major in theater (for various reasons that make up a whole different blog post that I should write sometime… Or did I already write it…). She kinda told me that I would end up not being able to get work with that and have to be a waitress instead. Which she then told me I wouldn’t be good at.
Hearing these things really hurt me and they hurt me deep. I was really torn up weather I should have been or not.
For a little while I considered taking a fifth year and double majoring in Theater and TPC which quickly became clear that it would be virtually impossible because theater EATS your time. There is always a set to be painted or costumes to be pulled or shirts to be ironed or sweeping… The work is never done.
But that was still stressing me out. So I decided to finish out the semester and just not worry about it. I would take Intro to Design and Intro to Tech and Stagecraft 1 like planned and not think about majors or next year’s classes until the time came to register for them. And I feel at peace with this choice.
But let’s backtrack a bit.
A couple of fantastically ironical things have happened to me. Prince Eric (the nickname is for another blog post), a theater major in my brother unit, is in the winter musical, Hello Dolly. He’s in the chorus and in quite a few scenes. In one of the scenes, he plays a waiter. The irony of him being a theater major yet also “being” a waiter made me laugh so hard! Also, I was sitting in Chapel waiting for it to start the other morning and I was told that I would make a good waitress because I’m fun and chatty…
And then tonight I realized something. I realized that my grandma doesn’t exactly know me (much less the Lord). Who is she to tell me that I can never become something? Who is any human to tell me what I am and am not capable of? My grandmother does not determine my future or my passions or my calling. So why am I letting it so seriously affect me? God will be faithful and provide for me if he calls me to theater. He alone will determine what I will and will not be. So while my grandmother may speak the truth in that very few people can make it in the theater biz, God has the last word on my role (haha! Punny) in it or if I will have a role in it at all.
Bottom line: God’s opinion alone should be the one that I let affect me.
<3 Emi
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Boys Like Girls?
So. Paul kinda made my life the other night. No, no. Not THAT Paul. The OTHER Paul. The dude who wrote Ephesians. In my Spifo class (Spiritual Formation) we have read through Ephesians about 5 times now. And I noticed the other night that he says in chapter 5 verses 31-32a “’For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This is a great mystery…” And I LAUGHED! I have LONG since wondered why on God’s green earth a man would want to forever be bound to a woman. And apparently, one of the great Bible writers doesn’t know either. :) It made me feel a bit better about my life.
RANT TIME!
Girls grow up watching the Disney princess movies and reading fairytales and we have it ground into our heads that we should find a man and get married and we have this very real sense of romance. But I don’t think boys watch Beauty and the Beast (ok, bad example. Whatever) and think to themselves “MAN! I want to grow up and learn to dance and eat soup properly so that I can make a girl fall in love with me so that we can get married and be in love…” I just don’t think it happens.
Boys, if you disagree with me, PLEASE tell me!
I just don’t think it works that way, though.
I did discover one thing, though, that I think helps explain why boys want to get married: they want to protect. Girls want to be protected and boys have this nature to protect. I don’t know how true this is, I don’t remember where it came from or why I thought of it, but I think it’s true. Just tonight I had a guy, Prince Eric, walk me back to my dorm. It was, like, midnight and my dorm was super far from the building we were leaving. So he walked me back. Though it’s probably because we’re friends, I wonder if that desire to protect played into it…
… I still don’t get why guys would ever want to get married or be in love.
I think I’m going to ask Prince Eric why tomorrow at lunch.
I’ll let you know how it goes.
-Emi
RANT TIME!
Girls grow up watching the Disney princess movies and reading fairytales and we have it ground into our heads that we should find a man and get married and we have this very real sense of romance. But I don’t think boys watch Beauty and the Beast (ok, bad example. Whatever) and think to themselves “MAN! I want to grow up and learn to dance and eat soup properly so that I can make a girl fall in love with me so that we can get married and be in love…” I just don’t think it happens.
Boys, if you disagree with me, PLEASE tell me!
I just don’t think it works that way, though.
I did discover one thing, though, that I think helps explain why boys want to get married: they want to protect. Girls want to be protected and boys have this nature to protect. I don’t know how true this is, I don’t remember where it came from or why I thought of it, but I think it’s true. Just tonight I had a guy, Prince Eric, walk me back to my dorm. It was, like, midnight and my dorm was super far from the building we were leaving. So he walked me back. Though it’s probably because we’re friends, I wonder if that desire to protect played into it…
… I still don’t get why guys would ever want to get married or be in love.
I think I’m going to ask Prince Eric why tomorrow at lunch.
I’ll let you know how it goes.
-Emi
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Semi-Perfect Day
So. Today was just filled with smiles.
I walked out of my dorm and fell smack on my behind! And I was thankfully not hurt and was able to get right up and laugh it all off. :) It wasn’t terrible.
And then lunch was a crazy adventure of hangman and movie-planning and fun.
Then my test in Intro to Tech Theater went WAY better than expected!
And then I took a nap…
It was just one of those almost-perfect days.
And then I finished it off with http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5DBHJJ6YDM and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD_W7zoBqTA. I think I like the second more. :)
So. That’s all for today.
<3 -Emi
I walked out of my dorm and fell smack on my behind! And I was thankfully not hurt and was able to get right up and laugh it all off. :) It wasn’t terrible.
And then lunch was a crazy adventure of hangman and movie-planning and fun.
Then my test in Intro to Tech Theater went WAY better than expected!
And then I took a nap…
It was just one of those almost-perfect days.
And then I finished it off with http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5DBHJJ6YDM and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD_W7zoBqTA. I think I like the second more. :)
So. That’s all for today.
<3 -Emi
Monday, January 24, 2011
Crazy Combo Post
I woke up to Narnia outside my dorm. But, sadly, I am not High Queen Emi so I was shoved back through the wardrobe into a reality where my boots are ripping and my feet get soaked when I walk through the slushy sidewalks. Go figure.
I did get a turtle in the mail, though. A cute, crocheted turtle. I have named him Ivan.
Nothing is profound today so instead of something deep, you are getting my mini synopsis of this movie that Chiano, Alpie and I are making.
It’s based off of a piano piece that Chiano is practicing as of late. She invited Alpie and I to listen and we somehow came up with this whole story of a poor little girl who gets hanged at the end of the song. Quaint, right? Anyway. We videotaped Chiano playing while I threw out some random ideas for random pieces of the song. But it’s changing…
No longer is this a historic, small village tale of a little girl and an angry police officer/mafia dude but the tale of a frantic princess trying to save her poisoned father. Some sort of goblin and/or witch will have poisoned her father and offer her an “antidote.” It will eventually end with her father dying. Many of the finer details still need to be worked out.
But I think that this is just too short to be a sufficient blog post. So I will write about something else.
I just don’t know what to write about… Slacking.
I really shouldn’t slack this semester. Most of my classes are all textbook reading and stuff which is hard for me. Because I get distracted easily. Right now I should be studying for my Intro to Tech test tomorrow on lighting. Which just sounds RIVETING. :S Not my favorite aspect of tech. Anyway. I should stop slacking and get on that.
-Emi
I did get a turtle in the mail, though. A cute, crocheted turtle. I have named him Ivan.
Nothing is profound today so instead of something deep, you are getting my mini synopsis of this movie that Chiano, Alpie and I are making.
It’s based off of a piano piece that Chiano is practicing as of late. She invited Alpie and I to listen and we somehow came up with this whole story of a poor little girl who gets hanged at the end of the song. Quaint, right? Anyway. We videotaped Chiano playing while I threw out some random ideas for random pieces of the song. But it’s changing…
No longer is this a historic, small village tale of a little girl and an angry police officer/mafia dude but the tale of a frantic princess trying to save her poisoned father. Some sort of goblin and/or witch will have poisoned her father and offer her an “antidote.” It will eventually end with her father dying. Many of the finer details still need to be worked out.
But I think that this is just too short to be a sufficient blog post. So I will write about something else.
I just don’t know what to write about… Slacking.
I really shouldn’t slack this semester. Most of my classes are all textbook reading and stuff which is hard for me. Because I get distracted easily. Right now I should be studying for my Intro to Tech test tomorrow on lighting. Which just sounds RIVETING. :S Not my favorite aspect of tech. Anyway. I should stop slacking and get on that.
-Emi
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Getting to Know You
Let’s start this one with a song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKuEENG2RCw
I know, right? Today, you’ll get to learn a little bit more about me.
Once upon a time, I was born at a very young age. I got a little older and decided that art was some fun stuff. I would write, dress up my American Girl dolls (I had one that looked like me that I named Rachel and Josephina), spent HOURS arranging and rearranging my American Girl Minis rooms… I guess that I’ve always been kind of an artistic soul. So life went on. In school, art classes were always my favorite. I spent my Senior year in high school taking 2-3 (or was it more) art classes per semester. When I got to college, I wanted to study art.
But things changed a bit in my first semester in college.
Amidst my 15 credit hours of general education classes, I somehow shifted my love from art to theater. Theater design, specifically. I think it was Earnest’s fault. You see, the fall play was The Importance of Being Earnest. I was attending not just for fun but because I was going to write a critique for my composition class. During the three acts, I paid close attention. I remember that Lady Bracknel, who is supposed to have a very large, loud presence, was dressed in a color far too similar to the set. She blended right in. I also remember this sort of awkward aqua blue during the outdoor second act that didn’t work quite right. (As of this time, I have asked the set designer who said that it was more of a mood choice rather than a sky choice. Which sort of makes sense but I wish that the aqua hadn’t been chosen. It just confused me.) And I remember the Kissing Chair. But I only remember that because I’m a massive dork. (If you don’t know what a kissing chair is, click the link -> http://www.butterfieldsforge.co.uk/images/p008_0_00_1.jpg)
After voicing my opinions, a friend decided to plant the idea in my head that maybe I should do something with theater. And then it encompassed me.
So now I’m taking 3 theater classes and would like to declare a theater major. I just have to convince certain people that it wouldn’t be a dumb choice, first.
Anyway. I’m super thrilled to be having to buy plays and theater textbooks and the PEOPLE! OH! Theater majors are some of the fun-est, quirkiest, funniest, most entertaining people you can meet. And here they’re so nice! I helped out with costumes my first night. I handed out mens’ gloves and wrote their “owner’s” initials on pieces of tape and labeled them. The next day, quite a few guys recognized me around campus and waved and said hi.
I just love it.
So that’s a little bit more info so that you can get to know me. Hopefully, if someone out there actually reads this, I will get to know you as well.
-Emi
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKuEENG2RCw
I know, right? Today, you’ll get to learn a little bit more about me.
Once upon a time, I was born at a very young age. I got a little older and decided that art was some fun stuff. I would write, dress up my American Girl dolls (I had one that looked like me that I named Rachel and Josephina), spent HOURS arranging and rearranging my American Girl Minis rooms… I guess that I’ve always been kind of an artistic soul. So life went on. In school, art classes were always my favorite. I spent my Senior year in high school taking 2-3 (or was it more) art classes per semester. When I got to college, I wanted to study art.
But things changed a bit in my first semester in college.
Amidst my 15 credit hours of general education classes, I somehow shifted my love from art to theater. Theater design, specifically. I think it was Earnest’s fault. You see, the fall play was The Importance of Being Earnest. I was attending not just for fun but because I was going to write a critique for my composition class. During the three acts, I paid close attention. I remember that Lady Bracknel, who is supposed to have a very large, loud presence, was dressed in a color far too similar to the set. She blended right in. I also remember this sort of awkward aqua blue during the outdoor second act that didn’t work quite right. (As of this time, I have asked the set designer who said that it was more of a mood choice rather than a sky choice. Which sort of makes sense but I wish that the aqua hadn’t been chosen. It just confused me.) And I remember the Kissing Chair. But I only remember that because I’m a massive dork. (If you don’t know what a kissing chair is, click the link -> http://www.butterfieldsforge.co.uk/images/p008_0_00_1.jpg)
After voicing my opinions, a friend decided to plant the idea in my head that maybe I should do something with theater. And then it encompassed me.
So now I’m taking 3 theater classes and would like to declare a theater major. I just have to convince certain people that it wouldn’t be a dumb choice, first.
Anyway. I’m super thrilled to be having to buy plays and theater textbooks and the PEOPLE! OH! Theater majors are some of the fun-est, quirkiest, funniest, most entertaining people you can meet. And here they’re so nice! I helped out with costumes my first night. I handed out mens’ gloves and wrote their “owner’s” initials on pieces of tape and labeled them. The next day, quite a few guys recognized me around campus and waved and said hi.
I just love it.
So that’s a little bit more info so that you can get to know me. Hopefully, if someone out there actually reads this, I will get to know you as well.
-Emi
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