A running joke, for lack of better classification, at my college is that you come to minor in Bible and major in marriage. And while not everyone who goes here gets their “ring before spring” and is at least engaged by graduation, many meet their mate. As I am now past my first semester and have fulfilled my goal of not dating during that time, a silly sort of franticness has set over me. Will I find “the one?” Will it be before senior year? Will it be before I’m 25? Does “the one” even exist? This last one haunts me the most. The fact that there may not be a soul on earth right now meant for me to share my life with…
Today in GenPsych we talked about what kind of people attract and get married. Similar “levels” of attractiveness, opposite personalities, etc. It sort of messed with my mind – should I be looking for someone who is as attractive/unattractive as me? And if so, do I go with my view of my attractiveness or what other people’s opinions are? Are they giving me their true opinions? Does the male population view me different than the female population that seems to assure me that I am pretty? And then what could I look for personality-wise? What is MY personality? How could someone’s differ from mine? Should I look for someone quiet since I seem to have grown rather outspoken in college or do I look for someone who can command a room because I’m still not very outgoing?
But this isn’t about my nightmares or psychology.
This is about Jami.
I know, right? I spend two lengthy paragraphs talking about boys and suddenly I’m talking about a girl. But you see, she’s not just any girl. She’s my best friend in the whole entire universe. And there’s something else: If one of us was male, we would totally get married. That may come off as creepy but I promise you that it’s not as weird as it sounds. We’ve talked about this. We just… I don’t even know what it is about her that makes us best friends or makes me love her so much (As a friend. We will never get married). But class today also made me remember this deep, great love for Jami and if I should look for someone like her to marry. Does that mean I’m throwing out the psychology? Does it alleviate some of my fear?
Thing is, I’m not sure.
So, for now, I have been advised by the beautiful Chiano to take my own advice and for now “Just Be.” And, given that I don’t have any other ideas, I’m gunna see how it works out for me. I guess I’ll post an update to this later.
-Emi
P.S. A blog post without a perfect end?! GASP!
Showing posts with label just be. Show all posts
Showing posts with label just be. Show all posts
Friday, January 21, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Just Be
So here’s my insight for today: Sometimes, you need to just BE.
Let me elaborate.
Life just sucks, sometimes. We set up all these things, we make all these plans and sometimes they just blow up in your face or turn around and reveal that they’re a black hole that sucks away all your money. I have a friend who had a black hole day today. She had managed to pass the test to test out of this class. So she went to the registrar’s office to get it all officialized and they told her that it would cost $450 (I think) per credit hour in order for it to be officialized. It’s a 3 credit class. That’s $1,350. College students just don’t have that kind of extra money. And something like that just smokes the rest of your day affecting every breath, every second, every fiber of your being. It’s not a fun time.
Anyway.
Tonight I got back to the dorm and she, smiling, told me she wanted to talk with me but to do this one assignment I had due at midnight first. So I did and went in to talk to her. This beautiful girl, bless her soul, is very good at masking her feelings (well… I think so, at least). She wanted to talk to me about it and stuff. So I sat there and talked with her. We didn’t have a dramatic cry-awkwardly-on-your-shoulder-while-I-awkwardly-pat-your-back time. We just talked. I sat there and talked to her like I always do and I made silly jokes about random things and misheard her and laughed at pretzels. I was myself; I wasn’t trying to be anything else. I didn’t have to try to do anything for her other than just… Be.
So, sometimes, in life… You just need to be there for someone. You shouldn’t shy away from it because it might be this whole awkward hoo-ha (my Intro to Theater Tech prof says “hoo-ha” a lot). You just need to accept that you are who you are and sometimes you are called to be in that awkward situation, but sometimes (or most of the times) you just need to BE there.
I hope I helped poke a little of my Emi-light into her life. And if I or you can do that for someone by just being… That’s a pretty fantastic impact for doing something as simple as being yourself.
“Don’t think, or judge. Just listen.”
Just Be.
-Emi
Let me elaborate.
Life just sucks, sometimes. We set up all these things, we make all these plans and sometimes they just blow up in your face or turn around and reveal that they’re a black hole that sucks away all your money. I have a friend who had a black hole day today. She had managed to pass the test to test out of this class. So she went to the registrar’s office to get it all officialized and they told her that it would cost $450 (I think) per credit hour in order for it to be officialized. It’s a 3 credit class. That’s $1,350. College students just don’t have that kind of extra money. And something like that just smokes the rest of your day affecting every breath, every second, every fiber of your being. It’s not a fun time.
Anyway.
Tonight I got back to the dorm and she, smiling, told me she wanted to talk with me but to do this one assignment I had due at midnight first. So I did and went in to talk to her. This beautiful girl, bless her soul, is very good at masking her feelings (well… I think so, at least). She wanted to talk to me about it and stuff. So I sat there and talked with her. We didn’t have a dramatic cry-awkwardly-on-your-shoulder-while-I-awkwardly-pat-your-back time. We just talked. I sat there and talked to her like I always do and I made silly jokes about random things and misheard her and laughed at pretzels. I was myself; I wasn’t trying to be anything else. I didn’t have to try to do anything for her other than just… Be.
So, sometimes, in life… You just need to be there for someone. You shouldn’t shy away from it because it might be this whole awkward hoo-ha (my Intro to Theater Tech prof says “hoo-ha” a lot). You just need to accept that you are who you are and sometimes you are called to be in that awkward situation, but sometimes (or most of the times) you just need to BE there.
I hope I helped poke a little of my Emi-light into her life. And if I or you can do that for someone by just being… That’s a pretty fantastic impact for doing something as simple as being yourself.
“Don’t think, or judge. Just listen.”
Just Be.
-Emi
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