Time for another deep blog post! But probably a shorter one.
There are a couple of stresses in my life that I take upon myself to claim mine and not turn over to God. I’m a big stress-er but there are some things that it takes extra-long to turn over to God.
First – My major. You know the story by now of my grandma and stuff so I won’t torture you with it a second time. But for so long I felt that it was going to be me that would change my grandmother’s mind and me that made the decision and me that worked it all out. Then I realized how stupid I was. God will ultimately decide what I will do and who I will be and He, FAR before anyone else, will change my grandma’s mind and heart.
Second – BOYS. I, like any girl, spend my childhood dwelling on marrying a prince (probably Aladdin or Kyle, the cuter of the twins in my k5-4th grade classes) and planning my silly married life in a castle. As I’m older now, I instead dream of marrying Flynn Rider or Sokka (or Aladdin) and planning out the details of my wedding down to the ring, dress, flowers, location, and even footwear (I want to be barefoot or wear soft white slippers). But the man, despite my inclinations, will probably not be animated (or a Disney Prince). And I have a really hard time handing that over. I acknowledge that God is in control but it’s like I’m an annoying person following Him around to make sure He does His job right. “Oh, no. Not that one.” “Maybe you should try over here… Like maybe this one?” It’s stupidity.
Yet I can’t seem to manage to relinquish control of this.
I never really understood the concept of wrestling with yourself over something that needs to be given to God or refocused or whatever in my life until I really contemplated this today. So my current hope in life is to fully stop stressing over it and knowing that God will chose the perfect man who will be perfect for me and I will love. It’s going to be quite the process. And I will probably end up having to constantly remind myself.